Don't Super Size Me America San!
by Moomoogirl1
Summary: After learning about McDonald's plan to super size hamburgers in his country Japan tries to get America to repeal the decision. But like all his dealings with America he doesn't quite get the results he wanted. ONESHOT.


This is my first time writing Hetalia fan fiction. LE GASP! But like nearly everyone else I have become a fan and decided that a Hetalia fic would be just the thing to break me out of my hiatus from fan fiction.

This is actually based off a recent article found by a friend of mine about McDonald's plan to basically introduce limited time offered, grossly high calorie burgers to Japan. Hence this little one shot came up. Hope you enjoy.

I do not own Hetalia of course you silly things.

* * *

On one sunny morning where the birds chirped so much one briefly thought that shooting them of their branches might shut them up, a lone tacky red, white and blue cell phone rang for its owner.

"_Oh say can you see, by the dawn's early light~!"_

"Seesh. What time is it?"

A young man whose blue eyes blinked wearily stirred from his worn lumpy couch. It was old but perfect for taking cat naps on. Which he shouldn't have been doing because those papers that needed signing by 8 pm tonight weren't going to do it themselves. But those two buckets of fried chicken he had eaten for breakfast (with a gallon of coke on the side) were just so darn filling! Surely his boss would understand if the papers were handed in a little late.

"_What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?"_

"Okay, okay!" He languidly reached over the arm of his couch to fish up his phone. Without even looking at the caller ID he answered it with little enthusiasm. Just waking up tended to do that to him.

"America-san?"

The soft and level voice that answered back suddenly put back the burst of energy America was so know for. "Japan~!" he screamed into his receiver not all catching his friend's slight grunt of displeasure. "What's up man?"

"Nothing much is…up." Japan calmly answered back with the usual undertone of confusion he held when meet with America's slang. "I trust you had a good morning?"

"Oh yeah. It was great! I went to Popeyes for breakfast. Not as great as good ol' KFC but-"

"Uh speaking of food-"

"Oh you want to try some of it out? I know you were a bit hesitant with Dunkin' Donuts last year but-"

"No that's not it." Japan answered back in a way that could have seemed curtly if it weren't for the smoothness of his voice. "I believe there is a problem I have concerning your-"

"Oh damn I'm sorry Japan! Really! I was going to return your games as soon as I was done with them, I SWEAR!"

"…Excuse me?"

"Your games." America explained simply. "The ones you're always telling me I can't play. With all the cute girls and everything."

"…You…took my games…"

"Um yeah, sorry about that."

"Well you are…old enough I suppose." Japan responded (with much difficulty). "I suppose…as long as I get them back and you don't think ill of me…"

"Think ill you? No way!" America yelled out while laughing, relived his quiet friend wasn't mad at him. He slowly let himself slouch into the couch. "'Sides I wasn't ready to give them back just yet. All the girls you come up with are super adorable but they keep falling into really weird positions-"

"Well that wasn't the reason I called." Japan neatly cut him off. "It's a bit more…urgent than that."

"Oh?"

"Yes. I would like you to do a favor for me America-san, if you don't mind me asking."

"Of course not!" America said with such gusto that Japan could already see the wide grin on the others face. "You know me. Ask for help and I'll assist any way I can! So just what is this favor?"

"It's about a certain franchise of yours."

"Let me guess. Um…McDonalds?"

"That's the one."

America laughed taking a moment to scratch his ear. "Do you want me to get them to give you more meal options? I heard they don't even serve oatmeal for breakfast over there."

"That's not it at all." Japan resisted the urge to sigh. "I want you to ask the company to give us _less_ choices."

A moment of silence before America loudly, and not at all shockingly, cried out, "_Less_!"

"Yes, less." Japan repeated as if America were some special child who needed to hear something twice or more in order to get it. "The company plans to introduce even bigger burgers to its restaurants in my country. They are for a limited time only but I'm pretty sure if it meets success it will become a habit they won't want to break." "You mean you're getting bigger burgers!" America cried out in dismay. "No fair~! They're trying to get all healthy on us here!"

"With good reason…"

"What was that Mr. Japan who gets the bigger burgers while I don't." America sulked not really hearing the insult.

"Nothing. In short I would like for you to ask the home company to repeal such a business decision. I refuse to believe that burgers named after some of your states-"

"That is so awesome." America reverently whispered.

"…With such things as bacon, chili and even harsh browns-"

"Oh god…" America squirmed like a worm in his couch, drooling like a hungry puppy.

"…Is good for our world image of having a healthy eating lifestyle." Japan went on, ignoring the whimpers of America on the other line. "So will you do this for me America-san?"

However the whimpers and whines suddenly ceased to exist and the other fellow nation became unusually quiet. Fearing that he may have broken the younger's brain he called out to him. "America-san? …America?"

"Yeah…?"

"Are you okay?"

"I think I'll survive."

"That's good-"

"I'M JUST GOING HAVE TO GO TO JAPAN TO EAT THOSE BADASS BEAUTIES AREN'T I?"

"What!" Japan yelped in horror not even hiding his shock. "No. You want to repeal them for me."

"Japan, Japan my poor little friend." sighed America sympathetically making Japan frown and resist the urge rub his temples. "You're just so shocked by the deliciousness of these burgers you don't know what to do with yourself. But don't worry dude. Change is good!"

"That is hardly the case…"

"I'll just go to Japan when they release the new burgers and eat them with you so you won't have to be so scared of them anymore. That sound good?"

"No! America listen to me! I-!" His protest was drowned out by America's thunderous laughter.

"Awesome man! It's a date!"

Japan tried in vain not to whine as America had done earlier. "America-san I don't want-"

"Later ~! Going to eat lunch now. All that burger talk made me hungry!"

And just like that America hung up. Leaping off of his comfortable couch and snatching his keys from the coffee table America rushed towards the door with a new found happiness. He could hardly wait to eat those burgers with one of his best buds in the whole world. He was so pumped up and ready. But till then a Big Mac would just have to do.

* * *

Surprising as it may be, the plan to introduce these burgers is meeting little resistance among the Japanese population. Sorry Japan, you're alone on this one.

Also, America heard Japan's protest. Honestly, he did. He just ignored them…

Let me also add it is SO much fun writing these two. I hope I kept them in character though.

If this made you laugh, cry, get mad, or even made you super hungry and you want to put the blame on me please review! Feedback always helps out a writer such as myself. Thanks for reading!


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